Show It! Don't Just Tell It!

WARM UP EXERCISE (You will use this idea again soon)

SHOW IT! DON’T TELL IT!

When you read a story, I’ll bet you try to see and hear what is going on in the story in your imagination. It’s like you have a movie playing in your head.

When writers repeat the motto “Show, Don”t Tell,” they are reminding themselves to create that movie.

Mostly, we show by what the reader can see and hear happening in the story.

I’ll show you what I mean. Tell me if you like this beginning of a story:

Harvey got mad at his brother Tim.

Pretty exciting, right? I’ll bet you were sitting on the edge of your seat wanting to know what happened next, right!?

No? It was boring? I agree.

It was boring because I TOLD you how Harvey felt, but I didn’t SHOW you anything.

Let me try again:

“Leave my room NOW!” yelled Harvey, his face turning red as a giant tomato about to splatter all over the walls. “I don’t want to even LOOK at you anymore!

“Why should I?” demanded his little brother Tim, who made fists of both his hands and stayed right there by the open door. He smiled a nasty little smile.

Harvey crouched on his bed, ready to attack. His chest heaved up and down, like he was beginning to turn into a werewolf. “This is the last time I’m going to tell you,” he snarled.

Better? More fun to read? I think so.

Did you notice that I didn’t TELL you Harvey felt angry? I SHOWED you by what he said and how he said it. He yelled and he snarled. I also showed you what he did. He crouched, ready to attack. His chest heaved like he was turning into a werewolf. He turned red.

Now do a little warm up. If you want, you may use Professor Kerfuffle, the cartoon at the top of this page.

Let’s say that his friend Gigi is trying to cheer Professor Kerfuffle up because he is looking for his pet cat and can’t find it. Show the professor being sad without telling the reader he is sad. Show Gigi trying to cheer him up (and help him) without telling the reader she is trying to cheer him up.

What do we see them do?

What do we hear them say?

How do they look and speak?

Show how they feel; don’t tell it.

You will use this idea later as you do the storywriting exercises.

If you want, and if you are a member of kidswrite4kids.com, send your story to the WordCastle. I’ll try to comment one some of the stories in one of my blogs.